Think back...

  This morning wake up, kinda emo~ing again. Think back a lot of things since last night. Primary school was kinda blur for me as I also cant remember clearly what had happened. There is a few things that I still can remember clearly. One of them is the homework given make me cant sleep before 12am everyday. Second thing is there was one guy called XXX, who suddenly announce to the whole class that :"He is a bad, dun fren with him...", the "he" and "him" was me. He point at me and announce to the whole class. Strangely, that particular moment I did not argue with him, I just let him continue with his announcement. Then there was one day, something happened and it was just like those story happened in drama. At last how was our friendship? Nah, I just cannot too close with my fren and thus, we most probably never become fren also... maybe this is what i thought.

  Then I remember my secondary life. The memory is more clearer compared to primary life. When in form 2, there was one girl which is the monitor of the class suddenly choose me as the assistant. Will I just be what the teacher ask. Then my life as a monitor begin, start from assistant. Till form 3 i change position become monitor. I am not sure about that but my fren told me that the class teacher purposely ask me go take books from her place so that she can talk to the whole class about me. She talking bout something that.... erm, maybe can make me happy. But due to one reason, i resign from it and end my 2 years services, hahaha.

  Since emoing, so you cannot expect this post will be all talking bout memory and think back, but maybe something still related to memory. Every teenage was happy to hang out with fren, go out maybe take a supper or travel to any places. But this definitely not gonna happened to me. Ya, i know i still go out supper sometimes. From "their" facebook pictures, it clearly shows that they are more knowledgeable than me, more talented than me and etc. I hate reunion because for me, that is a nightmare. First of all, all will have their gang of frens and what they chat about got "point". I know maybe is my fault cuz cannot mix well with them thats why thought that was a nightmare. But is that true? Now i even think back, I can still mix vf them in school but is that just limited to school area, mean after school period i am a totally different guy and cant mix with them at all? For me, reunion is some kind of gathering which to blow water and .... (dono how to express...)

  Different people different thought. Sometimes i say dun care but is that true? I found out myself hardly to express what am I thinking. Ya, I admit that you all can know that i am angry at that moment based on my black face. Sometimes i will just keep on remember those bad memory and then keep those feeling deep in heart so "SHE" can read it... till I totally cannot take it anymore.... That was what my mum ask me to change:

1. Stop keep all those unhappy thing in your heart
2. Stop become a crazy guy who will suddenly become black face
3. Stop become a person that will suddenly open up machine gun and shoot like there was no tomorrow

  Ya, this blog was totally mixed up... clearly show that I am emoing, maybe..

Belief in what i believe and do what i belief....